Redneck Computer Geek

Oh yeah!  I’ve discovered a new hobby that combines the best of both worlds:  high-technology and diggin’ in the mud!

I just got me a new White’s metal detector.  This thing has got bells and whistles out the wazoo!  It can tell me exactly what kind of metal, or even what denomination coin is under the ground, and how far under ground it is!

It occurred to me that Metal Detecting is a lot like Fishing:  it’s an un-ending string of opportunities to find something cool.  Every time I put a baited hook in the Bay, I know that I could possibly pull up a monster fish.  Now I don’t even need to be on the water.  There’s dirt EVERYWHERE!  And where I live, there’s lots of history (especially Civil War, but even pre-Revolutionary War stuff).  Not to mention the spare change and jewelry that the soccer moms lose at the ‘tot lots’. 

So it’s got all the redneck joy of fishing, plus it’s finding ‘cool stuff’ in the dirt.  You know, because rusty ol’ stuff is cool, especially if you’re a redneck, and ESPECIALLY if you’re the type of redneck that dresses up like a confederate soldier to do re-enactments.  No, I’m not that far gone yet.

But it also requires a degree of high-tech finesse!  Knowing the difference between the signal given off by a Confederate belt buckle and a smashed Pabst Blue Ribbon can under 6 inches of Virginia red clay takes some serious high-tech skills!  Not to mention you have to be a 9th-year law school student to really understand all the do’s and don’t’s of metal detecting and collecting historic relics.

So, I’m off to do some dirt-fishing.  BEEP BEEP!